This actually hurts to read...

Not to be outdone by Brian Williams, CNN stoops to a new low and delivers a fluffy-serious interview with signs-of-the-end-times hypeballs Chester French. Now, there's a lot of reasons to dislike, most rational, some largely irrational. There's the hokey image, the dilletantism, and the excruciatingly painful music. And yet, they're here to show that "If you have whack taste and you work hard, your shit will suck, unavoidably probably" doesn't hold any water when you've got the less-talented half of the Neptunes giving you a piggy back ride.

I don't want to seem bitter, though. I'll let the self-clowning stand for itself:

CNN: What has been the most surprising aspect of the music business so far?

Wallach: I think the biggest surprise has been that people don't really know a hundred percent what they're doing. Everyone is trying to figure out how the music business is going to look in 10 years.

And as a new artist there's not a blueprint. I figured you'd get signed and you're instantly on billboards. And the reality of it is that we find ourselves in a situation where all we can focus on is building our audience one person at a time. And it's just a brick-and-mortar, nose-to-the-grindstone process.

Acumen, insight, and a whole lot of black cookware.

CNN: Why do you think there's been all this interest from hip-hop producers?

Drummey: We're the hottest rappers out.

Wallach: I'm from Milwaukee, he's from Boston. They're both very diverse cities and we grew up with friends and all different kinds of music around us. So the records we make are inspired by a lot of different places.

Failed that joke like he failed at wedlock. At least we've got Milwaukee-Boston corridor o' eclecticism keepin' it real.

CNN: How does it feel to be called the next big thing?

D.A. Wallach: You know what, we actually haven't been called that in those words too often. But if we did, that would be very flattering.

Well, we can at least agree on that.